irritable brain syndrome

2020 is undoubtedly a year that is testing everyone’s ability to cope with stress. Between the insane politics, economic shifts, school mayhem and a 100 year pandemic, many folks are struggling with what my friend calls ”Irritable Brain Syndrome”. If you’re not miserable right now, then I say you’re doing all right. But what do you do if you are miserable?

I am seeing alarming rises of depression and anxiety amongst my patients. Folks who have always gotten through life just fine till now, suddenly find their equilibrium shaken off balance. Their normal coping mechanisms like exercise and socializing have become… complicated. Many have turned to poor coping techniques like alcohol, which cause rebound anxiety and fatigue, and just make them feel worse. 

In truth, we all are going to face a year in our lives where everything falls apart. That is just part of the human experience. The question is, how are you going to respond? What coping techniques do you have, and if you don’t have good ones, can you use this Dumpster Fire Year as a challenge to find better ways to respond to stress and treat that Irritable Brain?

We cannot control the stress in our lives. We can only change how we respond to stress. We can treat stress like a game we don’t know how to play, like say chess. I’m terrible at chess, have no interest in it, and it bores me. But if playing chess could make me feel better, I’d figure it out. I’d meet with a chess coach and have them teach me their techniques till I was a happy little chess prodigy.

With anxiety and stress, we can also meet with a coach who will show us how to play the “Irritable Brain Game”. We can learn to train our brains to respond better to stress, rewire our thoughts, and start lifting the cloud of negative feelings so that we can enjoy our lives. It’s true, this type of coaching exists. And it works.

My favorite type of Happy Brain Coaching is Mindfulness. Mindfulness is a word that gets thrown around a lot, but Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, or MBSR is a scientifically proven technique based on meditation that decreases stress and increases joy in your life. 

I was lucky enough to have an amazing mindfulness coach at Medical School at UCSF. Our coach was an internal medicine physician who had trained with the famous mindfulness guru John Kabot Zinn. 

Before taking her class, like many overachieving women, I was a bit of a mess. With her calm demeanor and black and silver hair in a bun, she guided us like a real life Yoda. She gave me tools that allowed me to thrive despite an 100 hour work week in the ICU. She taught me how to truly step back from the chaos and breath. Taking her course was one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. I felt like I was transformed by a magic spell, and I was saddened that so few others could get this experience.

In the 25 years since I took her course there has been an explosion in mindfulness training. Now you can take mindfulness courses virtually from any university, and there are even apps that teach beginning mindfulness like the free Insight Timer app. The magic of mindfulness takes time and energy to master but it is a powerful tonic to that Irritable Brain Syndrome.

Another type of “Happy Brain Coaching” is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT is a therapy that’s done by a licensed therapist. No, this isn’t talking about your childhood and why your mom is responsible for all your problems. This is an active therapy technique that usually only takes 6 to 12 weeks. In the therapy, you find ways to redirect negative thoughts and look at connections between your feelings and your behaviors, and how they affect your well-being.

When my second child was born with a life-threatening illness, I struggled with daily anxiety. One thought kept running around in my head. “I did this to him, it’s my fault”. I knew this was not true, but I couldn’t stop that negative track in my brain. 

I met with a wonderful therapist who was recommended by a good friend. In two visits he helped me rewire those negative guilty thoughts. He also helped me understand that my daily anxiety was actually related to a terrible work environment, which led me to a much needed job change. 

In six short visits, he changed my life for the better. I will forever be grateful for that incredible therapist and the part he has played my daily happiness.

Sometimes we can’t even see where our sorrow comes from. A good therapist is a Brain Coach that helps us get to the root problems and helps us rewrite negative thinking. So my question to you is, how good are your coping mechanisms, and can this terrible year be an opportunity for you to learn better ones? Can 2020 force us to make changes that will increase our daily happiness from here on?